Thursday, March 21, 2013

Knee bones connected to what again?

J Bean has taken recently to claiming illness for no good reason and giving me her medical opinion that, "she has the flu and I need IbooBroofen to make me feel better." Given the ongoing plague outbreak in our house, this is troublesome because its hard to dismiss without further investigation. You know how it goes, there's no fever, no runny nose so is she serious about her symptoms and how do I know?

A few weeks ago at the height of her hypochondria, I asked J Bean what type of symptoms she had and she gave me some vague complaints about her elbow hurting and her hair feeling extra staticky. Using my extensive medical knowledge I  decided this was probably a farce, so I decided to plant a red herring while I had the chance. "You know," I said, "When someone is coming down with the flu usually the backs of their knees will start to itch a lot"

My little actress said with no pause and faux surprise, "MY knee backs are itching!" I told her I didn't think she needed Ibuprofen and that she could have a vitamin and some lotion for her legs. Her shoulders shrugged. The thing is though, I can ask her about symptoms now and if it's the real deal she'll usually whine and reach for words to help describe a sore throat or nausea that she doesn't quite know how to articulate... but when she's just looking for some tasty meds, some extra sympathy, or to get out of something she'll often inform me she has "itchy knees" and I'll just smile and offer some "alternative remedy" which usually includes an extra hug, a drink of cold water, a hair tousling and some words of encouragement.

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