Saturday, March 1, 2014

A Kid Free World? To Travel or Not To Travel. That is The Question.

Regarding children and travel.

A child is not a non-stop source of noise, chaos and discontent for others. There is a spectrum of behavior a child will exhibit, that spectrum varies among children and age. Some items on that spectrum will disturb some people. Occasionally, the result is unexpected noise which could potentially bother or awaken someone outside of your room while traveling. No one is arguing that from my end. The assertion by some, however, seems to be that this set of facts means a person who travels with a baby/child is selfish and entitled. I'm going to get onboard with the argument here for the sake of discussion, but I have a few questions.
Why is it the person is selfish who risks the outside chance a crying fit from their child will occur during the chosen sleep schedule of another guest who happens to occupy the next room, will be a light sleeper, not traveling with children of their own, has no earplugs, really has a problem with noises in the night at a hotel and perhaps even issues falling back to sleep after a disturbance? Obviously that is a possibility, a child might cry and a child might wake up another person (and that sucks) but does it make them selfish? How likely is it and at what point does that probability translate to being an inconsiderate person who should not have even gone on the trip? If there is a 1 in 10 chance a kid might cry in the middle of the night are you selfish for bringing them? What if there is a 1 in 10 chance you'll let the toilet lid slam during a 2am trip to the toilet? Is the line the same for every person or do we allow leeway for those with mental/physical disorders? What is the decibel level and the frequency of an issue which triggers the "selfish" label? There must be such a line, so where does it lie?

The possibility of waking another person seems to be the issue we want to focus on, at least in relation to my recent letter. So what about the traveler who is traveling with a service animal and the neighbor who is allergic? What about an early riser who wants to get a run in and lets the door close too hard? What about a night owl? The horny couple? The guy with sleep apnea? The person with irritable bowel syndrome? The elderly man who needs the TV louder to hear it? The loud phone talker with insomnia? The heavy walker above? The reverse warning beep of the man with an electric wheelchair? The false fire-alarm because someone burned some toast in the lobby? The pregnant woman who keeps flushing the toilet that shakes the pipes in the wall near your head? The guy who designed the passing elevator? The landscape crew that arrives too early? There are many people who make noises in the night. I agree some of them are inconsiderate. Some of those noises will awaken some people, others will sleep right through them. This is why I think setting personal expectations for silence in a hotel environment is the point of view which is entitled and unrealistic.

The anger displayed by some over children's part in occasionally waking up someone should at the least be equally distributed among all the potential and common bumps in the night, shouldn't it? Why all the ire toward parents and/or children? Those who don't care for children are not aware of them until they present a disturbance, if that were the only time I took notice of kids I would have a poor opinion of them as well, but I also happen to take notice of the way they talk with others, hold no preconceptions about others, trust others, and look at the world. It is refreshing if you ever pause to appreciate them when they are not having "one of those nights/days."

To be honest I don't appreciate disturbances either. When I am disturbed I take steps to let others know, or I just deal with it rather than churning over all the ways the one disturbing me is an evil person. Calling out one who bothers you as selfish is often off-base. The woman in the next room with food poisoning is selfish? What about the guy who took a shower and forgot to turn off his alarm ahead of time? Maybe we're all just people, trying to enjoy our time and wishing we wouldn't cause anyone else a problem but recognizing that sometimes we do. How do we handle those situations? That's my question. Do we make our dissatisfaction known so something can be done, or do we write a letter in an attempt to "ruin someone's vacation" because that's what we perceive happened to us? Do all the rain clouds just follow us around, too?

It's bad luck when our sleep is disturbed, it's unfortunate, and I feel sympathy and empathy for anyone disturbed, but it is not a fundamental character flaw, an indication of entitlement or selfishness for someone to travel with a child. It is just part of life, sometimes other people or things make noise. That is why some establishments offer us all the chance to get away from many of those disturbances and, personally, those are the places I would choose to stay when I am looking for the perfect getaway sans kids and away from snoring neighbors et al. Short of doing so, I'm going to assume the quality of my sleep is a crapshoot in a crowded hotel, I might not like my bed, my phone might ring for no reason, someone in the hall might wake me up. My first reaction is, "That's life. Deal with it." I understand you may feel differently, so what are your thoughts? Where is the line between "living" and "selfish living"? Who decides what that line is? Is the decision solely given to the perceived victim? I'm very interested in your input here.

983 comments:

  1. I'm a mom of 4 young children. I also ski and live in Colorado. Staying at a hotel in a ski resort DURING ski season will run you at a minimum of 500$ a night. Skiing is not a cheap vacation. I would be livid pissed if I had to listen to a screaming baby all night after dropping that kind of $$ on a hotel room. However I would not send a note under the door. I would confront the hotel and demand to be moved to another room. NO ONE should have deal with someone else's issue--a teething screaming baby- while they are on vacation. No I'm not going to "stay home"..You keep your ass at home till your child is old enough to travel otherwise you WILL be getting nasty looks and comments from me and everyone else around you. I would NEVER be so selfish as to think I owned the hotel and if my baby wants to scream and keep everyone else up they should just "deal with it". Uh I don't think so. How about I go pounding on someones door at all hours of the night and if they don't like it, too bad. Same thing!! The fact that you keep bringing up how your brother in law was there for a convention because he is a neurosurgeon really has nothing to do with it and is quite boring. He gets paid to do a job like everyone else in the world. He's not special. He's not doing this for free. If he wasn't getting paid, he wouldn't be doing it. End of story. Get it now? I think you keep mentioning him and your brilliant "lawyer" sister in order to gain more sympathy for the screaming baby...Boo hoo hoo, that he works "so much". I'm pretty sure he gets VERY well compensated for his hours... Trust me I know.. I come from a family of surgeons. Why doesn't he give up his profession and take a regular job working 40 hours a week to where he gets to see his baby? He won't. He wants the ski vacations in Colorado. :-) It's too bad that these people suffered through the screaming for 2 nights. What a bunch of idiots really.

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  2. Exactly. I take my children to children appropriate things. But people seem to think everyone else just loves their kids as much as they do. Sorry, we don't. Reality check.

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  3. Oh yes those of us with children should just stay locked away at home where they can't bother anyone. Puhlease, some of you people are so ridiculous. Those of you who don't want children ruining your precious vacation, go somewhere adults-only. Simple as that.

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  4. Being a bad parent? Woah. Her kid cried a few times and she's a bad parent. I sure hope you don't have kids!

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  5. I was the best parent in the world before I had kids too. It's hilarious when people without children try to tell those of us with children how to parent. Ha. Ha.....ha.

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  6. zayneelady/EmilyMarch 3, 2014 at 5:08 PM

    This was excellent!! So well-written, beautifully supportive of your sister and family, and just..... Bravo. I wish a millions times over that the letter-writer could not only see this, but receive it humbly and perhaps invoke some change in himself. (Herself).

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  7. I liked this piece until I got to this part: "My brother-in-law helps more people before you get out of bed and have your morning coffee than you have likely helped in your entire life." Way to answer judgmental with judgmental. Cool, he's a brain surgeon. It's like you threw down the "he's more important than you" trump card. Suddenly I have a little sympathy for the person who was kept up all night by the baby with the rich, IMPORTANT dad and his brother-in-law who puts on airs on his behalf.

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  8. I don't see how it's buck passing. If something is wrong or upsetting
    you, do something about it. If you choose to suffer in silence then
    that was your choice. She chose to stay in that room for a second night;
    a conscious decision.

    If you are at a restaurant and don't like
    the food it's silly to go and complain after you've eaten the
    whole thing. You didn't have to eat it. You could leave and go to
    another restaurant (hotel) or you could complain and get another meal
    (room).

    One night spent listening to a crying child that you
    weren't expecting would suck. (and it sucks even when you do expect it)But everything after that first night is your responsibility. If you don't
    attempt to correct the upsetting behavior then you are, effectively,
    condoning it.

    It's also really weird that people keep suggesting
    taking the baby down the halls to the lobby. I've stayed in many many
    different places. From a fancy-ass Omni, to a sleek and beautiful
    Hilton, to a plain old Motel 6 and I can tell you without a doubt that
    something loud in the hallway is Always louder than something loud in
    the next room. A hotel room is a small enclosed space with lots of
    things to muffle sounds. A hotel hallway is fairly sparse - carpet and
    walls with a few decorations - almost nothing to keep the sound from
    reverberating down the length of the hall.

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  9. Sorry to hear my response soured your opinion. I actually only mentioned other aspects of the parents' lives since the original author called them out as selfish and contributing to all that is wrong with the words. So yeah, I thought a little context might help. It shouldn't and doesn't matter who was on the other side of that wall. What matters is that we can't judge them based on their baby crying. I also tried to temper my, admittedly angry rant, by acknowledging that I know little about the letter writer. They could be very nice people who were having a bad day, they could be upset about who knows what else in their life, or they could just be assholes. It's certainly a possibility. I think, in the end, I was at least as fair as they were and I'm here to answer questions and concerns about my opinions. Thank you for reading and commenting.

    P.S. Young doctors are not rich nor "important" to anyone but the patients and the colleges they owe their next 5-10 years of earnings to.

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  10. Thanks, Zaynee!

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  11. Who are these people who think you should love their children? I could care less if others despise my children, or all children. There are also people who despise the handicapped, certain races, the homeless, the mentally challenged. All "people" however, are part of the population though, so if some "people" don't like some other "people" then those "people" should find some place away from them instead of expecting others to keep their life experience free of them.

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  12. Would that I had you in my corner! What an excellent response. Send hugs and a fist raised in solidarity to your sister and your brother in law.

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  13. This story resonates with people who are inconvenienced by insensitive, rude and inconsiderate parents. Most people like kids, especially babies. However, there are places where crying babies and misbehaving children don't belong. Hence the term, "age appropriate". I would think that your highly educated relatives, the brain surgeon and the attorney would be able to figure that out. I also think that the person who left the note was completely entitled to write it. Apparently your family doesn't understand what age appropriate means, and it's quite obvious that you and your rude relatives feel entitled to violate other people's right to quiet enjoyment. Whether it's the movie theater, speech, or other adult type area such as a ski resort.

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  14. In case you didn't notice, on HuffPost comments, the overwhelming majority DO NOT agree with you, DadOnTheRun. Here on your blog, maybe. But in the real world, not so much.

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  15. michelle kendallMarch 3, 2014 at 7:52 PM

    It is appalling...the amount of parents who actually forget what it's like to have small children. Just like that. Good grief! And I also find it incredible that there are people who agree that she should not have gone to a hotel! I mean...for real?! What a bunch of Veruca Salt's! Wake up! Reading all of this makes me feel like a better parent. DOTR...your sister is lucky to have you. All the best!

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  16. Are you not complaining in a mean and anonymous fashion with your response? I can't seem to find your real identity attached to your blog.

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  17. You sound like someone who gets paid sitting on your butt all day.. you must be fat!! You get paid to stock shelves for a living..quit complaining and blaming the world and children for not getting ahead in this world.. pathetic..

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  18. April Nelson StrunkMarch 3, 2014 at 8:09 PM

    Yeah, maybe her ranting in her note wasn't the best choice but do you really think by talking to the parents the baby would all of a sudden become quiet? No, of course not. Instead everyone would have just become more uncomfortable. I agree with the note writer, even though her frustration got the better of her. Not all of us think that babies and children are wonderful, even if we have our own. When I go on vacation, I expect to be away from the noise of everyday life, like screaming kids, babies or not. We stayed at the beach instead until the kids were 5 or so and old enough to follow direction, pull their own bag, and contribute an opinion on what activities to do for the day. I am so tired of the complete shock parents go into when others do not share their views on parenting and family. I'm tired of the bending over that America has done to accommodate parents and their children. Too many parents have this air of entitlement because they have children that need something; diaper tables, parking spots, booster seats, non-advertised menu items, cut in 4ths.... . I'm tired of parents thinking they are special because they're parents. Part of being a parent is inconvenient, that's just the way it is. Wait your turn to meet your own needs. Babies do not ski. Stay home and wait until they are at least toddlers and can actually wear a boot and everyone, including the well paying neighbors can have a good time..

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  19. Hyperbolic false dilemma. When faced with a vacation/conference to a ski resort, one doesn't have to choose between taking their infant or leaving them in a sensory deprivation tank. There is also a third option: a babysitter. Neurosurgeon dad and stay-at-home mom with a law degree get to enjoy their days and nights together, and those in adjoining rooms get to sleep.

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  20. No one should have to deal with someone else's issue while on vacation. That much I agree with you on. When I hear obnoxious kids running the hallway after 10pm or before 7am, I'm not happy about it. When I hear someone's passionate lovemaking against the other side of my hotel room wall, I'm not happy about it. When I hear someone else's baby screaming while I try to sleep, I'm not happy about it. I have no sympathy for the kids in the hall or the randy couple because they are old enough to control themselves in such a situation. A teething baby though lacks the ability to read a clock and know of society's rules and regulations about sleeping hours at a hotel. Most parents know their baby. They will know if he can handle a road trip. They will know what sets them off. They will know her likes and dislikes, how she sleeps, what kind of schedule she keeps, what will sooth her... But sometimes, a baby just needs to cry. We as parents make decisions based on what we expect from our children, and our expectations are usually met. Just because a baby cry at night does not mean that it's parents have lost the right to do things in public. To suggest otherwise is naive and shows a terrible bias.


    If I hear running in the halls or noise from another room and I let it go, I've also let go of my rights to complain about it. There is a way to deal with it on the receiving end, and that is to say something while something can still be done about it. There is a way to deal with it on the giving end as well. In the case of inconsiderate people in the halls, perhaps they can be less selfish, they are old enough to make that decision after all. In the case of loud consenting adults, they too can be less selfish by pretending their father-in-law is in the next room, and going incognito. In the case of parents of a crying baby, they can do what they do all day, every day: try to keep their child happy and quiet. After all, they're entitled to a vacation as much as the empty-nesters next door.

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  21. While I agree that some disturbance is to be expected when you are sleeping in a hotel you are making it seem that we, the public, have to accommodate parents who want to drag their children out to inappropriate locations. Sorry I don't care what you do for a living you really don't have the right to disturb other people, you are not that special ( to anyone but your family) . My husband too saves a couple lives before most people roll out of bed, risks his own life in the process and makes a pittance compared to your brother in law , I did too before our kids, yet neither of us feel entitled to be inconsiderate with ourselves or our kids. People should be flexible and nice to parents with children and that is a lot easier when parents are considerate.

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  22. So asshat's ok butthurt not lol

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  23. sorry, maybe I missed something, but what about a family friendly ski resort made it an inappropriate location?

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  24. I am surprised at the lack of empathy I see in some of these comments.... Oh who am I kidding?? I'm not surprised at all by our society and their lack of compassion. If someone is concerned about noise, maybe a hotel on a family friendly resort wasn't the best option. I commend you for writing a response and putting it out there, where hopefully this ignorant fool gets to see it. I have 3 children and can completely understand your sister wanting to spend the week with her husband and baby out of the house. Any empathetic person (especially any parent) should understand that. I'm sure those nights were not easy for her or her husband and the baby. People can be incredibly selfish, which is unfortunate. That person was one of those people. I wish you and your family well..... Tell your sister, from one mom to another.... It will get easier!!!!! Xo

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  25. I have a 19, 17, and 15 year old...so I am a bit out of the baby ages. I HOPE what I would do in that situation, is knock on the door at 2 a.m., give the struggling parents a smile, and offer to help rock that baby for a bit so they can have a break. Talk about selfish- the letter writer is the selfish one. Does she honestly think being a mom of a screaming baby is fun? THat having the child scream was a choice your sister made to torment the nearby neighbors? I remember those exhausting nights. When I was a stay home mom, my husband was gone ALL THE TIME. I was alone...a LOT. I would've jumped at the chance to accompany him on a weekend trip- even if he had to work- so I could've had just another adult around for a few minutes. If they were there just skiing for fun, that would be one thing. But he was working- working to save lives and heads of tourists at that ski resort. She gave up her husband's time so HE could help others...and was probably hoping for just a few minutes of adult company squeezed around his work schedule. Have some compassion.

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  26. I thought your response was warranted, and I'm glad you explained what they were there for. It completely changed the context of the events, and made me even more sympathetic. To your sister and brother.
    And you know what?....he does help people and he is important to our society!! Frankly I feel way worse for him, to have to attend a conference after being up with a screaming infant all night...(not that your sister isn't just as exhausted as well lol) and at the same time needing to be together with his family.
    Why can't we support one another? Taking care of our children, comes before all else. Maybe that's why as a society today, we have individuals trying to justify that horrible letter.... It amazes me that other species of animals, from elephants to meerkats, band together and help each other with the babies, but people will tsk tsk each other for having little ones with them.

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  27. Cherish Calhoun StahlheberMarch 3, 2014 at 9:30 PM

    I have 2 very wild little boys (4, and 5) and have been traveling with them since my firstborn was 1. Of course I always cringe when I board that plane, or get a hotel room....and cross my fingers and toes that nothing "goes wrong." I do agree that many parents out there do not discipline when needed, but this post isn't about children that are the age to be disciplined, its about a teething baby. Babies cry....heck my 5 year old still cries about everything, but until they hit that age of understanding...well, they are just going to cry. It doesn't make the parents bad parents, it makes them parents. Before I had children, I would say under my breath "shut that kid up," or "god, get control of your children.:" Well then it happened...and boy did I have to eat my words. I understand that people do not want to be disturbed by noises in a hotel..yes I just laughed a little saying that, but if you don't like your situation, change it. You can only blame yourself if you are not proactive in making the change to having your "peaceful" vacation. Those that don't have children...just remember what you are saying now...those words are going to be hard to swallow in the future. :)

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  28. I am a parent and a dog-owner. When people of my species expect to never be inconvenienced by my dogs, I understand their point, as they did not choose to be dog owners. When people of my species have the same expectation of children, however, simply because they don't have any, I am bewildered. Every one of them has been a child. Every one of them that lives to old age will depend on a younger generation to care for them, whether or not they personally were parents. To assume that it is an inalienable right not to be exposed to certain age groups within ones own species is absolutely insane and unsustainable.

    On a different note - I am an ER vet, and years ago worked a 36 hour shift during a blizzard because no other doctor could get there to relieve me. Few patients came in, but those that did were extremely sick and I saved a few lives. I returned home absolutely exhausted to a screaming neighbor lecturing me for not keeping me driveway and sidewalk shoveled during the storm. Having absolutely no idea what my reasons were, she went on and on about my selfishness (I had recently moved in and we'd never met before). Why are people so quick to assume that they know the whole story?

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  29. Here's the thing though. When my kids were teething I sure as heck didn't take them to a ski-resort. A location that caters more to the adult and over 5 year old crowd and one that a person really wouldn't expect to see a lot of babies.
    I have 2 kids, ages 5 and 3 and I'm sick of other parents feeling as though the world revolves around them and their kids. Ummm, no it doesn't. No, people shouldn't be overt a**holes, but the selfishness exhibited by most parents is freaking astounding. I didn't take my kids to expensive restaurants or nice, non-family oriented hotels when they were babies out of respect for the other people who are paying good money to have a nice time. They didn't pay money, take the time and perhaps find a sitter just to accommodate me and my kids.
    I NEVER get to see my husband as he's a farmer and our family has NEVER had a family vacation, but you can bet that I would have never taken my kids to a ski resort when they were that age. Heck, I wouldn't take them now - I'd take advantage of the kid-free week and spend some alone-time with my husband!
    If people just thought more about how their actions might potentially affect those around them, we'd all be a lot better off.
    And before someone decides to rip me a new one for being a selfish b*tch who probably hates babies and doesn't like them on planes, in public or in general, please let me refer you to my original post. I'll quote the pertinent parts here.
    "Kids cry, believe me I know. I have 2 of my own and my daughter had
    acid reflux as a baby. I don't mind babies/toddlers crying on
    airplanes. I get that people fly to see family and friends and planes
    suck for kids. I fly Southwest and always volunteer to sit next to the
    parents with babies. They're thankful because they are sitting next to
    someone who isn't pissed at them and understands the situation and I'm
    thankful because I get to hold a baby!
    If it was a regular hotel, or a family friendly vacation spot like
    Disney, the letter writer would be in the wrong because you'd have to be
    insane not to expect young kids and even babies right next door. But a ski-resort is
    adult/older child vacation-specific. There is NO reason to bring a baby or toddler who will get nothing out of it, prevent you from getting anything out of it and potentially ruining every neighbor within earshot's vacations as well."

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  30. So the baby just started teething the minute your sister checked into the hotel? Yeah, I'm betting not. You and your self absorbed family need to get a little better about realizing that the world doesn't revolve around them or their children. Your sister should have considered leaving the baby with a family member for the evening. Additionally, children are part of the community but as such they need to either behave appropriately while in said community, or be removed from it. Just like any other member of the community. I don't blame the woman who wrote this letter one bit, if it was me though? Your sister and management would have heard it from me first hand and I wouldn't be offering to "help," you had the thing, now you deal with it.

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  31. Yeah, SCREW those non-breeding worthless pieces of crap who want to enjoy their disposable income in peace. Parents and children are God's gift to humanity and their needs should always take priority. Those Godless, childless miscreants should have done the only logical thing: gave up their futile attempts to sleep peacefully on vacation and gone next door to offer a helping hand. It is ALL of humanity's responsibility to simply deal with the cute little annoyances that REAL PEOPLE LIKE PARENTS have to deal with all the time. It's absolutely NEVER appropriate to criticize screaming, teething babies. And certainly not when you're being kept awake after spending $200 per night for peaceful rest.

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  32. No they shouldn't have given up their futile attempts to sleep peacefully on vacation, they should have written a passive aggressive rude letter to the parents AFTER they left. Makes sense right drama queen?

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  33. Jennifer Lynn Dean-BerkowitzMarch 3, 2014 at 10:03 PM

    I find it amazing how so many people can not see the actual point of this post. I personally agree with you 100%, and completely see and understand your stand with this issue. As for your brother in law, I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for doctors and surgeons they save lives every single day without judgement in anyway, and can I say (and I apologize for my language) but HELL FUCKING YES he should take his family with him as much as he is able!!!!!

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  34. I guess they thought the presence of a kids' club and cribs for the room indicated it was age appropriate. Guess they forgot to check with you though. Also, the resonance to the article has been overwhelmingly positive. Incredibly so. The people of your opinion are the minority despite what you might garner from ignoring likes and shares to other forums and looking only at FB posts on a certain venue.

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  35. Allie. I think you should look at the "likes" on that page. Are all the people so angry they are hitting like by accident while typing their diatribes into the computer? Go back to the sea of hate if you'd like. I am feeling very supported by the masses.

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  36. they are the minority, Michelle. They are just louder than the supporters.

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  37. People are able to comment here and have a conversation with me. If you would like to leave your phone number I will gladly contact you directly. I blog anonymously for my children, not so I can write hateful things, put them in a bottle and toss them into the sea.

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  38. Kathy Pinkham BarryMarch 3, 2014 at 10:29 PM

    Loved you response! I wish my brother would stand up for me like you did! As a mom of four, I've had plenty of these experiences. Like the people that would glare at me in public because one of my twins was crying while I was nursing the other one, and my three year old was running around crazy! How about asking if you can help?! It's fun to think your kids were perfect...by sadly not true!

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  39. Do you think there might be adults who don't ski at the resort as well? Do you think some of them cause disturbances from time to time? I'm not asking anyone to bend over backwards. I'm asking for people to show some humanity to other humans. As for the victims here. I have zero sympathy for someone who doesn't let someone know about their problem in an effective manner.

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  40. I do employ hyperbole. Irony as well sometimes. Thank you for pointing out that a sensory deprivation tank is not the only answer. I'm guessing earplugs or a request to be away from rooms with children would also solve the dilemma.

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  41. I wonder why they have a kids' club and provide cribs then? It's just weird. It's like they, the proprietors, are trying to tell people they are a family friendly resort.

    As far as we know, only one person's vacation was ruined and they played the perfect victim, incapable of letting anyone know of their problem. You seem to suppose that parents should know that a child who cries will wake everyone up. That is not true and varies quite a bit according to the room, the sleeper and the baby.

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  42. As for the occupation. It was only mentioned in direct response to the original writer who judged the people he/she knew nothing about. It has no bearing on their "worth" or your husbands' only that they are not selfish kids cruising around the world on mommy and daddy's dime to ruin other people's vacations.

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  43. I feel for the sleepless, who in the same argument have a story. Sounds like they planned for a long time. The whole profession thing is desperate. Who knows what the sleepless did. They deserved a quiet environment. Take the baby for a drive. Use common sense. Would the Doc let kids in the recovery room? No...why? Because its not the proper environment as skiing is not for babies. I found it funny the sister wrote a letter, while damning the sleepless couple for lack of confrontation. Grow up Doc, Lawyer, and Sis.

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  44. I personally think it's pretty obvious that you have an inability to follow simple logic when it doesn't support your own narrow point of view, Dadontherun, and that you attack other's ability to follow your argument as a defensive response to being, well...wrong. The majority of people commenting on your blog (and voting the posts up/down), as well as the people responding to this post on other sites seem to overwhelming disagree with you.

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  45. Where did the sister write a letter?

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  46. Never claimed the right to disturb anyone. Claimed that people disturbed should say so. I don't go around wondering who I might be disturbing with my presence. You assume the crying would wake anyone. Not true. Based on the lack of feedback from others, I assume no one else was disturbed. I also assume that the same trip could be made again and no one might be disturbed. Parents don't have to assume their child will cause an inconvenience because they might wake and cry. Many hotels offer better noise protection, many people sleep through a train wreck. Doesn't mean it wasn't bad for the "victims" here, but still, I think they should expect that they need to voice their grievances if they want them addressed.

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  47. Asshat does not belittle one's feelings or position. Simply ascribes a description to someone. Judges? Do we allow it?

    Yes, yes we do. (I also left butthurt up, so don't get all butthurt about it).

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  48. or brother, whomever the sibling is who wrote th response.

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  49. If the walls were really that thin, then there is a whole other problem here and it's with the resort, not the parents. Clearly the resort needs to improve the sound proofing. Of course, there is always that one person who will say "Why should the resort fix the walls when people shouldn't bring babies to resorts", well, because next time we might get to experience someone's sexual adventures.

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  50. The person who wrote the response has put their name on it. If you missed that detail I find it hard to believe that you fully understand the issue at hand...

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  51. Negative Nancy...Dad on the Run?

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  52. Not negative - someone who doesn't notice the name on the letter has most likely missed other details. Sorry, it's a bummer for us both...

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  53. Not rocket science. Focused on content not Dad on the Runs Signature.

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  54. I'm going to assume that your kids never cried when then cut teeth. I'm also going to assume that you never took them out places for fear they might have a tantrum, because that would obviously be the common sense thing to do? Another note, they weren't there to Ski, they were there because her husband was attending a conference. Additionally, the professions were mentioned to give you an idea of, I'm assuming, the lack of time they really get to spend together as a family. Of course, because you overcame such extreme adversity, I imagine everyone else should be able to as well?

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  55. Actually a lot of people agree with me and the fact that you just had to share YOUR opinion, even though you're contributing nothing to the conversation, really shows that you're the selfish one. My post does have to do with the question he directly asked, and I was merely responding to another person's objections after that. In addition, I'm not the one bothering everyone else with rude words. I also reply to all parts of other people's posts instead of willfully ignoring the parts I don't agree with or have no response to. The fact that I can and did admit when I was wrong shows that I am capable of debate and logic, and your post is purely self-indulgent. I'm sorry that you found it necessary to hold so much hostility over a simple internet conversation. Good day to you. PS it's "you're", not "your".

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  56. Corinne Wallace-CraneMarch 3, 2014 at 11:05 PM

    Respectfully, I believe she's referring to the comments themselves, not the actual article. The top rated comments on FB and HuffPo appear to be the ones who disagree. I feel for both sides in this argument, but as someone without kids, I'm not ABOUT to offer my 2 cents here, I'll gladly admit that this is not my place to discuss.
    , *Backing away slowly with hands in the air*

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  57. I'm also seeing an interesting trend here. Many folks are focusing so much on the fact that it was a ski resort and that there's no point in taking a baby to a place where they won't be able to participate and won't remember it either.

    - What if this had taken place at a Motel 6 and the mother and child were staying there while the husband/father was dying in a hospital?
    - What if the mother and child are staying at a child-friendly hotel while the father was dying?
    - What if it were a father and child staying at a child-friendly resort while dealing with a dying mother?

    We, as a society and as individuals, have certain social expectations and those expectations change based on circumstance. While many will be upset about a teething infant that cries for 5 minutes they probably wouldn't be so upset if they knew that the child's mother had just passed away that morning. I think that people are buying into the social expectation of what goes on at a ski resort. That a ski resort has more value than a Motel 6. Both serve the same purpose - shelter. But the more money spent for the room the more it raises the social expectations.

    At any rate, if you don't like kids then don't stay at a kid-friendly place. Why would someone go to a place that the knew would most likely make them unhappy? And to stay a second night is sheer idiocy. I do not believe in inflicting a crying child on anyone but when it happens, it happens.

    Look, birds poop on my driveway. I absolutely hate the bird poop on my driveway. I can either try to move the birds, move myself, or get over it. I've gotten over it (mostly. bird poop is gross.) Cranky lady had options as well...

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  58. Blue collar workers have very little time as well. Poor point. I am a mother. I get it, babies cry, kids act up. The sleepless couple was on vacation, planned a year. Take action as a parent and quit hiding behind "its a baby". Did they inform the desk, baby was having a hard time and might be affecting others? No. Sounds like it was a rough night for them. Being a parent is not a free pass to impede on others.

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  59. Just because your children are the center of YOUR universe does not make them the center of THE universe.
    This is not a question of the child behaving inappropriately, or a bad case of teething. The child has no fault here. They have no choice in who their parents are.
    So the ski resort has a children's club huh? How many teething babies did they have in that club?
    Just because the local strip club has a children's menu it doesn't mean it's an "age appropriate" location.
    Of course they have cribs available... because inconsiderate parents are not required to report that they are bringing an infant when they book the hotel room. Had these parents shown up, after already having reserved the room and committed their non - refundable deposit, I am certain your lawyer-in-law would have given them an earful of self - righteous legal advice.
    But the hotel, being interested in their bottom dollar first and foremost, isn't about to turn away a paying customer and lose multiple nights of revenue just because a customer is an inconsiderate asshole. Otherwise most resorts would be empty most of the time.
    How dare anyone not welcome your family with unconditional tolerance and understanding. Especially when those people are at their most vulnerable and trying to rest.
    I am sure that if anyone were watching TV next to your family, making as much noise as often as the baby, they would have received complaints from the hotel staff. But somehow their baby makes it OK and they get a free pass.
    Bet if someone kept that baby up all night you would be writing a different story.
    The point is, baby or not. A crying child is no different than a loudmouth patron, except that the parents have the power to prevent it in the first place. But somewhere some parents got the idea that it's OK to hide behind their children to fulfill their own selfish desires.

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  60. The only reason they provided cribs is because selfish parents expect everyone to accommodate them. It just might be a 'family-friendly' ski resort, but skiing itself tends to eliminate participation in people who have just started walking. I would think 3 years old would be the earliest one could learn to ski, and kids are done teething by 3. So, any normal person would think that if the 'whole family' wanted to participate in a vacation (although this wasn't a vacation, it was a conference for the Dad so I don't know what Mom was doing all day if she couldn't ski) they would wait until their kids were actually old enough to participate.
    And actually, I always assume EVERYONE can hear my kids. We've stayed at cheapo hotels before, because they aren't expensive and cater to families with BABIES and I always assumed every single cry would be heard. Thankfully, I learned how to effectively train my kids to put themselves to sleep and that benedryl helps alleviate the pain and inflammation that occurs with teething along with the added benefit of helping baby sleep. My pediatrician gave me that tidbit, so no one can accuse me of drugging my kids. But, we NEVER went ANYWHERE when they were teething. Ever.
    And here's the thing that REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Chances are, your sister and brother-in-law knew their kid was teething before they left. Sure, it would suck to be stuck at home for a week with a teething kid, but unless attendance was mandatory, Dad didn't have to go, and if he did, Mom knew what she was getting into when she married him. I've had some pretty miserable times alone when I was sick, and my kids were sick because my husband was gone and I survived (and I'm a self-admitted wuss), and she would've too. And as I said above, we've
    NEVER had a family vacation and I wouldn't have pull this - even for a free vacation. It's just rude
    and inconsiderate. If the kid got sick in the middle of the trip,
    excusable, but teething occurs over a period of time and a parent tends
    to know when a tooth is going to erupt.
    This was just selfish behavior. Period. They were expecting people to be understanding and accommodating and when they weren't they, and you, were appalled. But having a child, and bringing a child to a destination that is normally for people (not babies) on vacations was a CHOICE and other people should not have to make accommodations for your choices. Hence the reason the hotel had a crib. They HAD to because too many selfish parents made a stink.

    No, we as parents and families shouldn't have to forever sacrifice vacations, but maybe wait until teething is over and can sleep through the night? Or until the kid can actually participate? That will make it more fun for everyone involved.

    We as parents should be the ones adapting and teaching our kids to adapt. It's that ability to adapt that makes functioning, independent, responsible and, yes, considerate adults.

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  61. Great post This world, in which we procreate, is not one in which we find ultimate perfection. Families are entitled to vacations as much as the next guy, and like you said, sometimes stuff happens and makes for an unpleasant event. However, to place judgement is unfair. We never know what somebody else's situation is. Why is a ski resort not a pkace for families?? i'll bet if that same person had been at a ski resort with David Wise and his baby. they would have been much more forgiving. people need to grow up and stop acting like this world is just for them and recognize that its an entire space to share.

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  62. Ha! I'm in the don't bring the baby camp (and I'm a Mom), but I agree, I don't want to hear any of it! Loud adults or kids. What a good point and one that no one else has brought up! :-)

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  63. Blue collar workers have even less time.

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  64. Ok, this will probably get a lot of hate, but what on earth are you parents doing that gets you comments from perfect strangers like this?! There are so many comments here from parents saying that people are so rude to them and their kids. I've never gotten anything like that from anyone, although my kids slept through the night and we didn't take them anywhere when they were teething so hotels weren't an issue. And my son had a temper tantrum at the grocery store once, but it was in the entrance and we went outside until he calmed himself down. If anything, I get complemented every time we go out. Maybe people are nicer in the mid-west.
    Perhaps I'm a stickler for manners and being polite. They act up at home, that's one thing, but out in public and they know it's epic trouble and they're only 3 and 5. I'm not a perfect Mom, far from it and I don't claim to be. I hate the outdoors, I can't do 'baby-talk' and I'm a dork at playing, but I make up for it in other aspects. Like teaching empathy for others, reading and reasoning skills and insane vocabularies for kids their ages. And my husband is great at the things I suck at!
    All kids are different, I get that, but I feel like expectations over behavior in public has changed and instead of teaching kids to adapt to their surroundings, we expect everyone else to adapt to them - and us as family units. And then get self-righteously pissed when people don't automatically accommodate your kids and think they're as awesome as you do. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids to adapt? Isn't that what makes them into independent, responsible and caring adults?

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  65. I agree completely. You're a good brother and good brother-in-law for sticking up for your sister, brother-in-law, and niece in this way. I could name everything I agree with and think you and your family did right but it would just be repeating everything you said. I do want to reiterate the part about finding the negative in everything. Don't ask why me, why not you? What makes you so special that crappy things don't happen to you? And if they're always happening then it's because that's the only way you look at life. Find the positives. Laugh at things. Help people out instead of always knocking people down. I could go on but I'll stop my babbling.

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  66. Wow. What a bunch of unloving rude people. I feel sorry for all your children that aren't allowed in what you all consider "age appropriate" places. Way to introduce your children to the world and culture. And I would just like to point out that your arguments are moot at the point in which the resort does offer amenities to accommodate children thus making it age appropriate. They obviously need to put up signs about not being a stuck up, prude, that hates children, and is inflexible to life's ever changing ways. Next time you plan a vacation, rent a private jet, go to an adults only resort and enjoy. Then you can find something there to bitch about but at least it won't be to the people who enjoy life and the little miracles that are our future.

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  67. You completely disregard the possibility that the hotel knows their clientele and which segments spend the most money there? You think they just love kids or that they hate profits? Personally, I think they make an informed business decision to cater to families and that families spend the most money there.

    You have strip clubs with kids' menus? That's funny. As for the complaints... I think that would have been exactly the way to handle it. Complain to the desk, while they can do something. OR write a note after suffering in silence for two days. It's hard to decide which is better the course of action.

    I would have complained. I don't have unconditional tolerance for children. Nor do I suffer fools.

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  68. I don't think calling the front desk would be a confrontation. Thanks for stopping by.

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  69. It's also in the URL, and beside every comment, but I agree it's neither here nor there. You're wrong whether you know my name or not. You probably think I'm wrong instead right? Let's just agree to leave it there. I have several thousand other people who want to argue as well.

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  70. Yes, there are many who disagree. I was just pointing out that the majority who agree don't comment. I've seen it shared in many forums with varying degrees of support and vitriol, but as the one guy in the room who has probably seen more of those locations than anyone else, I'm just saying, it's overwhelming been positive.

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  71. How would them calling the desk help? So they could turn around and call the neighboring rooms to see if they were being disturbed. Silly. The impetus for stating you are being disturbed falls on you.

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  72. That's the only reason they provided cribs? OK. You're obviously angry. I'm sorry to have upset you. I'm just going to say I disagree with you in a major way. They were not aware of teething before they left, you can think what you want. New parents don't read the tea leaves all that well either. Disturbances happen and it's not just kids who cause them. Any normal person would make a complaint to someone who could do something about it rather than viewing the world as out to get them while seething in rage and victimhood while saying nothing. nothing. Not one thing, until they wrote a letter and checked out. Oh and the baby? Slept fine for the next 5 days.

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  73. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I agree.

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  74. I think it is obvious there are a huge number of people who think your sister and brother-in-law were wrong for bringing the baby to the ski resort. I generally agree with them. You keep defending them and rightfully so, but you have to acknowledge that a lot of people don't think it is appropriate. Given this fact it would be considerate of people to refrain from bringing their infants to a ski resort and do their best to not upset the neighbors. This applies to many other activities. If you're going to have kids you have some responsibilities relating to other people as well...

    I am curious, was either parent able to leave the room when the crying started and if so did they? If there was somewhere I could go that would not bother anyone I would do so asap until the baby fell asleep again... I would stay up all night if need be.

    You can think what you want but a LOT of people thing it is pretty selfish to think they can bring their babies anywhere they want and expect others to be ok with it.

    Sadly, this wasn't really your argument, rather you had a beef with the letter. Really? I guarantee you that family was way more annoyed by the crying baby than anyone was by the letter, well except may you... On top of that much of their day the next day was possibly ruined. A lot of people get really, really tired when awoken several times during the night.

    People need to think of others when the make decisions. I do all the time.

    I never wear hard shoes in my home and am usually in socks so my neighbors below never hear my footsteps.
    I have my TV positioned on an inner wall so nobody next door can hear it. I keep the volume down.
    I don't run my dishwasher or washing machine late at night so they don't hear the sound of the water running through pipes.
    I am careful when I pull chairs out to keep the noise down.
    I never, ever put trash outside my door no matter how bad it smells and I refuse to put it outside even though there is trash pickup twice a week because I don't want my neighbors to feel like they live in a bad part of town. I carry it myself to the trash chute a good 250 feet away.
    I keep the elevator door open so others can get in rather than let it close on someone so I can get up sooner(I'd rather take the stairs).
    I don't bring stinky food on airplanes, especially the stinky hot fast food from the terminal. I think I should be hungry for a few hours rather than let dozens of others in an enclosed plane have to smell something not so good. Or, I will get something that doesn't smell bad.
    I am quiet at night(and day) when I walk in apartment and hotel hallways to not startle the residents.
    I turn down my radio in my car when I drive in residential areas.
    The list could go on.


    Believe it or not this is not a difficult thing to do, well it isn't difficult if you care. I'm not some politically correct weenie either. I believe people should be able to do whatever the heck they want so long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. Still for things that aren't necessarily rights, people should have some consideration for their fellow peers. We'd certainly see a lot fewer late night complaint notes...

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  75. I would imagine many things play into this, KSFarmWife. Location not being the least of them. Or maybe you just are the best mom and the rest of us are raising hoodlums who draw the well-deserved ire of strangers wherever we go. My kids are very well behaved, but that has nothing to do with whether or not they might cause a disruption, they are kids after all.

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  76. Thank you, June.

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  77. You sound like a great neighbor, John. As for the public's opinions on the piece and the situation, the "likes" have far, as in many times over outnumbered the negative comments.

    As for the baby and the crying, it was 4-5 times per night for 2 out of 7 nights for no more than 5 minutes each. Removing the child would certainly become an option to consider if others let them know they have been awakened (a simple tap on the wall is pretty clear, or call the desk) and if the baby cried and screamed for a long period of time. Then again, walking into the hall in a large hotel will result in awakening more people than just your neighbors I would think.

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  78. I am so sorry for the baby. I don't care what kind of hero her father, the doctor, is or how badly her sweet mom needs a vacation, this poor child deserves better than being placed in a strange hotel room on an adult vacation while teething. C'mon, people. It's not about YOU.

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  79. If "there's a booster chair" and a "kid's club at the resort" is the main argument one can come up with as "It's ok to bring a teething child to a ski resort" then I must say the argument is really weak, especially the child is not even allowed to ski yet (as far as I know ski classes only accept minimum age 4-5 yo), there is NO point for the wife to be there while the child is teething, it is purely selfish.

    I totally agree with KSFarmWife, why would the wife tag along for the conference? it will not be a pleasant trip, there is no sleeping while the kid is teething, and they are forcing everyone else to wake up in the middle of the night as well, I understand if the kid got sick on a trip, it cannot be helped, but teething?! they knew it all along!
    It is also frustrating that the replying letter has to mention the occupations of the parents, really?! so they have high education, probably make a lot more than other guests staying at the hotel, and they still will go as cheap as to bring the wife and kid the the ski resort for his conference (probably tax deductible), I would be ashamed to bring up the occupations, and in fact it was a business trip, a doctor and a lawyer, still cannot show a little common courtesy to the general public, just because they have kids, nothing is more entitled and selfish than that.

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  80. DAD ON THE RUN*****.... I think what it is ....its that God loves us all, and since they know he will still love us regardless . .. they can either be JERKS or actually nice, decent people. That or they're atheist and they don't care if they're a piece of...work...
    You see, Dad on the run...The beezy who wrote this cowardly letter obviously doesn't believe in God and/ thinks God backs her up in this letter of hers.?? Im confused... I have no control for my child's feelings... and just because I don't, does that mean I'm an inconsiderate parent? Does that mean I need to apply to see my level of parenting for strangers? Oh..idk, maybe carry a certification letter showing my skills and stating that I GENUINELY AM capable of loving my child and WANT to spend time with her... all the time..gee, even when they're little, like in their teething stage... lol WAIT..NO....maybe, i should lock her up? Send her with her nana? Send her abroad to become a distinguished british child who doesn't see or spend time w/ her parents? Yea, like those good ol'days in the golden age (apparently even now) .. Wait!!! I got it! Why dont I just return her where she came from? Send her up my vagina why don't I? After all, its so easy to just go up and forget about one's kids when they're teething AND breastfeeding. ...yea. ..who cares! As long as that mentally-challenged-needs-to-get-screwed-more-often- couldn't-sleep-waaawaaaa-next-door-guest gets to sleep all it (and I say "it" because if EVEN animals are considerate enough to understand this natural situation, then idk what the writer is...) wants...yes lets do that. God, please, I hope you make heaven soundproof too. For the sake of parents who grow old and stupid AND forget what it is to love and cherish a baby every time they breathe... Txt me when its done, mkay! Or text that THING that wrote such a silly, silly little letter...what a sad thing you are ^_^ and I know I wrote vagina, according to English lingo and human body terminology (yes you ignorant people- the important, doctor, professional kind of terminology) its an actual WORD and we shan't be afraid of using it.

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  81. I hope you read my post. I feel you. I'm 25. And I actually UNDERSTAND what it is that you're writing! Amazing!!!!! and don't mind my spelling and grammar, I suck at it =/

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  82. I personally don't have children, i'm a 19 year old student and I am actually amazed by most of the comments on this post. HOW is it NOT okay for parents to bring their children (despite the age) anywhere they want to if its not an adult-only resort. I'm actually baffled by the ignorance of the comments. If the people writing the letter had such a hard time the first night they clearly should have gone to the front desk, explained their situation and asked to be moved. If they couldn't be moved, i'm sure they would have been given some sort of discount that they could have used to buy earplugs. If you're going anywhere that is not clearly specified as adult only, you should expect babies, annoying 8 year olds, moody 15 year olds, rowdy and loud 18 year olds. If anything they should be thankful they only had to listen to a baby cry for 10 minutes as opposed to a group of drunk 20 somethings partying all night. Shell out the money for an adult-only resort or a private cabin, or suck it up and deal with the masses. I hate going to the public pool in Calgary in the middle of July because its filled with screaming toddlers and splashing 10 year olds, but until I can afford my own pool, or a private membership somewhere, thats the lot i'm stuck with. No one enjoys going to a nice restaurant, or flying on a plane when theres a screaming baby? But again, until Gordon Ramsay is going to come cook for me and I buy my own chartered jet, I'm in no position to complain.

    Also, dadontheruns response was long, but it was well written, and had an entertaining amount of sass and sarcasm while still executing his point effectively.

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  83. The discussion wasn't even about how capable you are at debating. It's about how stupid your argument is to compare a teething child in pain to a child needing discipline. And you won't shut up about making a point about discipline, to take a crying child out in the cold to teach him or her a lesson. To have no experience in the matter and think you have a point to make. The discussion wasn't even about how well you could spell either. I speak and write in 4 different languages fluently and doing my fourth year in medicine. Doesn't mean anything to forget an apostrophe because I was more eager to let you know how stupid your argument is. Clearly you need to grow a brain and know what YOU'RE talking about before you give your two cents and think YOU'RE on the way to the greatest discovery..

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  84. If "there's a crib" and a "kid's club at the resort" is the main argument one can come up with as "It's ok to bring a 3 yo child to a ski resort" then I must say the argument is really weak, especially the child is not even allowed to ski yet (as far as I know ski classes only accept minimum age 4-5 yo), there is NO point for the wife to be there, especially the child is teething, it is purely selfish.

    I totally agree with KSFarmWife, why would the wife tag along for the conference? it will not be a pleasant trip, there is no sleeping even if the kid is not teething, and they are forcing everyone else to wake up in the middle of the night as well, for a whole week, by day 2 or 3 if it is determined the child is teething and cannot be helped, they should've left.

    It is also frustrating that the replying letter has to mention the occupations of the parents, really?! so they have high education, probably make a lot more than other guests staying at the hotel, and they still will go as cheap as to bring the wife and kid the the ski resort for his conference (probably tax deductible), I would be ashamed to bring up the occupations, and that it was a business trip, a doctor and a lawyer, still cannot show a little common courtesy to the general public, where did all your higher education go? just because they have kids, and just because "oh but there's a kids club!", does not mean it is appropriate to bring a teething toddler to a ski resort, nothing is more entitled and selfish than what they did.

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  85. OK so let's look at that possibility... did anyone else get a note on their door about a screaming child? Wonder why not. Probably because couples with infants aren't the typical clientele for a ski resort. That's why this couple was singled out.
    And as someone who was a manager in property management and the hotel industry in ski resort country, I can assure you that they made no more money from the couple with a toddler than they made from any other couple.
    If anything they lost business by refunding people's money and booking them in another, (quieter), hotel.
    Making the argument that a ski resort is an appropriate place for an infant is like saying that Chuck - E - Cheese is an appropriate place for a bachelor party. Just because they serve beer there doesn't mean it's appropriate to party in the play pen.
    Just because a business will let you do something doesn't make it a good idea. Just look at people of Wal-Mart as a prime example.
    Hiding behind your children doesn't mean you're not an A-Hole. It just means you are self-centered and a bad parent.
    Just another example of people thinking that they are entitled to exorcise poor judgement and still recieve unconditional courtesy... because somehow they are more special than everyone else and the law doesn't prohibit the fools from breeding.
    Apparently you do suffer fools, you just spent the last few days defending two.

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  86. Thank you! I grew up the youngest child in a very active, family oriented home. We were never wealthy, but we always managed to take great family vacations. My parents taught us to ski and water ski as soon as we were able to walk (so really, saying "a baby doesn't ski" may not always be true.) and at age two, I was skiing down little bitty slopes on my tiny heirloom skis. My sister both skied as well and them being 4 and 6 years older than me, both were skiing before I was born. So should my parents have left only me at home while the rest of my family went on a ski vacation? NO! My parents would never have dreamed of it. We were a family. We spent our family time together as such. Thank God I didn't have parents who kept me isolated from the world and excluded from creating amazing memories just because some people might be irritated by the presence of a few small people in their perfect adult bubble.

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  87. This was by far the most entertaining thing I've read all day. Seriously, bravo! And from one parent to another, THANK YOU for saying exactly what so many of us wish we could when faced with cruel judgment simply for not choosing to lock our children in a dungeon any time we leave the house.

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  88. I didn't say they make more money on kids. I said they make more money by being a welcoming place for people with kids (there's quite a few of us I hear). No one was refunded. The selfish couple in question inquired with the desk as soon as they learned they had disturbed someone. No other complaints. Not even one.

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  89. Thank you, Jillian.

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  90. I first saw this on Facebook because my friend had commented on it. I was so prepared to be annoyed by the writer of the letter but Dad on the run is so much worse. What long winded pissy little drama queen. Yah the people who wrote that letter were cowards but way less annoying than you Dad on the run. Seriously no real man would ever publish such a bitchy rant. Grow a pair.

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  91. Seriously (coming from someone who became a parent late, has no patience and is not particularly softhearted): all of you who forgot the simple fact that CHILDREN ARE A PART OF LIFE, just go live on MARS!! Whether you want some, can't stand them or love them, nobody cares, they are here, they are life, and if you're not happy about it, just go live where there is no life!

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  92. There was a time, before my beautiful daughter was born, that I would have agreed with you. My sisters and I were fairly easy children growing up. My mom is more than a bit neurotic and admits that we were not difficult to manage when we were little. I grew up thinking all kids could be so well managed and anything else was a reflection of the parenting. I think God laughed at my ignorance when I was pregnant. I was given the most incredible, beautiful gift of patience and humility with my daughter. From day one, she was what her doctors could only describe as "intense" and "high needs". I struggled living hundreds of miles from any family with a husband gone in military training and deployments more than he was home. I did the best I could. And I still received a few comments about how annoying it was that I brought a screaming baby to the grocery store. Well since she screamed incessantly and I had no choice but to take her along if I ventured from home, I didn't have much of a choice. And trust me, there was zero self righteousness or entitlement inside me over that fact. Being a spectacle to rude stares and hushed insults was pure torture. Many times I was in tears the whole way home from an outing I simply could not avoid putting off. That screaming infant became a flailing, inconsolable toddler. Not all the time, but definitely at inconvenient times and places. As my mom has watched her grow and watched me parent, she too has learned that some kids are not so easily controlled. My daughter has been a gift to all who have enough compassion to look outside their own wants for convenience and learn to have empathy for those parents struggling to do their best. For those who don't, well I am just another example on their list of how selfish parents ruin their day. :/

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  93. I'd love some statistics about how blue collar workers work more than a brain surgeon. Lol. Unless a doctor is running a small, private practice, they likely work more hours than what they don't work. And no, I am not a dr or married to one. I'm just not dumb. Their hours can be utterly insane.

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  94. Just want to say that I commend you as an ER vet. I worked as a vet asst and it absolutely amazed me how the doctors even managed to diagnose anything, let alone treat it. I mean, the patients can't speak to tell you what's wrong, they are designed to try to mask pain they might feel, they have vastly different structures and organs than us humans, and above all, really sharp teeth! Lol. I just love vets and kind of think they are magic sometimes. So kudos for being awesome!

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  95. If you'd like, I can share some photos of my sisters and I skiing before the age of three. Maybe the lessons don't start till age 4, but kids are not banned from skiing until that age. Just saying.

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  96. Not my photo, but this kid is definitely under four and skiing like a champ. What was your point again?

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  97. TAKING A SCREAMING BABY TO AN EXPENSIVE RESORT MAKES YO A WORLD-CLASS CUNT.

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  98. You spend an awful lot of CAPS lock infused energy talking about how much your husband is gone. How much exactly is he gone? Does he not come home at night? That's great that you'd choose to take a kid free vacation. My husband is gone for months at a time continuously, often doing very dangerous things. We got a chance to take our first family vacation recently and after missing out on months of time with our child, dozens of memories, countless firsts, he wasn't about to leave her with a sitter for our whole vacation. HE wanted to spend time with her as much as with me. Moral of the story, not everyone is like you. Also, you are not a special snowflake who has a monopoly on "life without the husband" woes. I know several whose husband never came home. But tell me again how selfish they'd be should they decide to take a vacation with their children. Maybe they love the snow and plan on sledding all day. Maybe skiing was their husband and father's favorite hubby and they went in memory of him? Maybe a lot of things. But you don't know nor did the letter writer. Heaven forbid their baby has a bad night and cries a few times. I can only hope that humanity is not so hopeless that such a judgmental person would not feel like they ate their whole shoes collection upon learning that baby just lost his father overseas. Or that the mother was desperately trying to put a smile on the faces of her children by visiting a place their late father loved. NO ONE knows what that family's story might be. It's easy to label someone as selfish or entitled when you apply your own skewed assumptions. But apply some other assumptions and you become the one who needs some humility.

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  99. Jesus dude, the person who wrote the letter was correct . THE BABY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE and your response makes you seems like an irrational and "undoubtedly nasty person", as one might say. Sounds like Mr. Brain surgeon makes enough money to afford a nanny or a private cabin but does not care about the other people who work all year to save for one vacation. One can only hope that you and your sister read the Facebook comments on the Huffington post article. Wanna take a wild guess on where the majority of people side? Spoiler : not with baby in the Alps.

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  100. The story (according to most of the comments I've read on social media) resonates with all of the people who have had to endure parents like your sister and her husband. Seriously do a count. You can't pick the few people who side with you and cling to that.

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  101. Every time we went somewhere with our first child I felt so much pressure for my child to be perfect. My husband and I used to call it the baby lottery! It's the only lottery you don't want to win. If your child is crying everything else that night will be perfect and you get the "look". I hated that feeling. I met many people those nights/ weekend trips/ travels and learned how beautiful some people can be and how horrible. I chose to be one of the understanding now. My husband would have dragged me from their door offering to help in the middle of the night. Good for you standing up for your sister.

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  102. This is the information era. Never before has the working class had to work so hard to make ends meet.

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  103. Attention peasants! I'm a neurosurgeon who makes enough money to hire a nanny or rent a cabin but I choose not to because my wife-who is lucky enough not to have to work-wanted to get out of the house with our very young baby. What a saint she is! Did I mention I save lives?what's your job (probably a lowly office worker who has to save ALL year for a vacation). So lame. Why don't you YOU rent a cabin and conform to our inconvenience... You have enough money right? Look-we deserve a vacation with our baby even if it ruins yours. Heck we deserve 12 a year, and Goddammit we will take them. Listen people next door, we are rich and entitled, and you need to just put up with our crying baby because we are inconsiderate and that's that. Did I mention my brother in law is deluded?

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  104. Seriously, read the majority of the comments. Your are either deluded to think the majority of people agree with you or you are refusing to read anything beyond what you consider "support". This letter disgusts me on so many levels and I am definitely NOT alone. People like and share things on Facebook to draw attention to them, it's not to be taken at face value. And trust me, if there was a dislike button it would decimate your number of "supporting likes".

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  105. Forgive me...you were omitted from my celebrity list. Your arrogance of assuming people would dwell on You versus the content is a stament to your poor argument. You are "arguing" wirh thousands of others because you are an elitist. As if their or your social status,is a free pass to be nastier and ruder than the original letter writer. Calling the front desk, they may have a more private room. You cant seem to handle debate. Instead of making a point, you ignite an us/them, victim mentality. You are responsible for your children, silly. Not the neighbors losing sleep from a screaming child.

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  106. As you described the sleepless as assholes? Lots of maturity to go around.

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  107. Um, your sister and her husband ruined the night of people who paid just as much as they did. So nice they're well-educated and well-heeled. Perhaps they should have used their elite sensibilities to apologize the next day to their neighbors. A little consideration goes a long way. The letter your sister received is passive-aggressive, but your response is every bit as much so, and smacks of whiny self-righteousness.

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  108. I'm a mother too, what's your point? Well, I'm glad that you were able to keep your children from impeding on others when they were young. You are the utmost example of parenting. I'm glad that you were such a perfect parent, I bet your kids are even perfect. I imagine they are and were so well behaved that not once did they cry out. Bravo. Bravo.

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  109. Agreed. Unless it says "Adults Only", I assume children are allowed and other guests expect that children will be present. i know I expect children when i go places.

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  110. Oops, I forgot. Children should be seen not heard.

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  111. Research explains what many of you seem to argue against. Kids that are in the world and properly attached to their parents are less likely to see themselves as the center of the universe. It turns out, funny enough, that if you treat children with respect and empathy, they grow up to be respectful and empathetic. If you beat them for getting out of line, or leave them with other people while you vacation, you teach them that they aren't important, and they will grow up thinking it's their job to demand their rights. Sounds like some of the commenters here, doesn't it? Fact is, when you are sick, old, marginalized, you need people in this world to be empathetic and others-centered. Not convinced that a public hotel is all for them.

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  112. While judgement should not be passed on either party absent both sides of the story, I am baffled by the comments here chiding these parents for bringing their children along on a family vacation. These resorts market and cater to families, often providing DAY CARE, children's activities and meals, and even supervised lessons while the parents are off skiing the more difficult slopes. Are you kidding me? Brain surgeon or not, IF IT'S A FAMILY RESORT, then it's not this father's responsibility to book his family elsewhere simply because his baby *might* cry; rather, the onus of responsibility is on the adults who wish it were. You either speak up while it's happening and ask for a resolution, or book yourself where you're guaranteed there won't be any kids. Hotels do their best to provide a clean, quiet room to every guest, but they cannot guarantee anything simply because they cannot control all variables. As the piece said, if it's not a crying baby, then it's something else. Common sense is a lost art form.

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  113. Perfect hardly. I did respect the environment I brought my child in. And took responsibility for their behaviour whie in that environment and didnt cry baby haters when others rightfully had an expectation to a peaceful environment. it happens. My stance is the parent is responsible for managing their children, not others. Do you really need a stranger to inform you that your child is interefering with your sleep in a hotel, in the middle of the.night?

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  114. Your analogy is terrible and your logic is backwards. You're wrong.

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  115. My heart goes out to the parents of the teething infant. They are out of their normal routine, and probably very stressed out that their child is crying. The stress only makes the baby cry more. People shouldn't be so wrapped up in there own problems that they can't understand a child's suffering. My hat goes off to dad who wanted to bring his family to the conference with him to get more family time.

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  116. I am not a parent. And I truly feel that the letter writer was the selfish person. I work in the complaints department for a very well known hotel. I get calls and emails every day from guest upset with our staff for allowing other guests to bring their babies and the babies cry through the night. These are one of the toughest cases. Mainly cause I have to hold my tounge.

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  117. Wow. All I can do is share my own experience. In the interest of full disclosure, I am a mother and there are few things as stressful as having a teething baby screaming for hours on end, especially when you are not in your own home! Once we were staying at a hotel while visiting family out of state. Little did we know it was homecoming weekend for the local high school. We spent half the night listening to drunken under aged teens drinking, screaming and creating chaos. Not only did they prevent us from getting a good night's sleep, but I knew they were breaking the law and making poor choices that would not only affect them, but everyone around them. They were being rude. While a screaming baby next door would be a bummer, I would understand the baby and parents are not being inconsiderate by choice. They are simply trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation. That's when you turn the tv or radio to static as whit
    e noise, bury your head under your pillow, and thank God that your kids are past the teething age! Then if you happen to see the weary eyed parents at breakfast, you tell them how cute the baby is and give a reassuring comment that you remember those days and to hang in there.

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  118. Im wrong, you're wrong. We seem to have something in common.

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  119. Actually it does, idiot. Maybe those inconsiderate jackasses will think twice before they ruin the next person's vacation. Confronting people like this, who love to wallow in their own self-righteousness, never ends well. Besides, as bad as it was listening to this little monster scream, that was probably better than getting into a confrontation with two novice parents who would never see your point of view anyway. That's called an unnecessary escalation, moron.

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  120. Absolutely right! No parent anywhere should ever have to consider the needs of the people around them. They are ENTITLED to annoy and harass you, ESPECIALLY if you're not a parent. I'm sure quiet, well-behaved children are more than welcome at the hotel. Maybe they should post a sign, for those parents who truly don't know how teething babies act, that TEETHING BABIES ARE NOT ALLOWED. There's your line. How about, if you're the world's greatest parent, as your sister and BIL clearly are, you simply CONSIDER the impact your screaming, teething baby might have on other folks around you. I don't have any children, but I've been around enough teething babies to know that teething babies are cranky, and frequently scream out in pain. Isn't that just basic parenting to know that sort of thing? And, once you know it, does it seem very considerate to subject the rest of humanity to what you must know will be a disturbance to anyone around you, while your baby is teething?

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  121. By the way, you keep asserting that it was 4-5 times for less than 5 minutes each. How do you know that? Are you basing that on the word of the same people who couldn't care less about the thoughts and feelings of the people around them? I'd say you need a more credible source. But, thank God they have a brother with a blog who can bully the letter-writer into submission. That way, they don't have to reflect on their behavior at all. That definitely makes for a better society.

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  122. They probably thought that the presence of a kids' club and crib would not automatically exempt a good parent from making a good parenting decision and not taking their SCREAMING, TEETHING BABY on vacation to a ski resort.

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  123. They taught you how to ski when you were teething?

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  124. Spoken like a true MOT New Yorker. Can't believe he's not from there.

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  125. Thanks for adding to the conversation.

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  126. Thank you. You have hit on most of what I was trying to say.

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  127. Sorry but I side with the letter writer on this one. A ski resort seems like no place for an infant. Simple. No name calling needed. And "dad" we all know that pounding on the wall is a ridiculous notion and would not have worked. Intrusive people feel they have the right and would have just made more noise. I'm sure you all possess some redeeming qualities as humans but consideration is not one. As far as the establishment limiting infants...well let's say that greed comes into play there.

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  128. You are truly ignorant if you can't understand likes and the nature of the internet. Of course, people are being nasty. I was doing it on purpose, it's called irony. You know, to teach the first author a little about what it feels like to be judged on such a small portion of your existence. I feel supported because the greatest number of people have agreed with, "liked" and shared the story with others along with personal stories of agreement. You look at HuffPo main page comment section and think you have a poll of the world population? So you weight comments as huge and dismiss the far greater number of "likes" (aka, supporters). Choose your stance, either the readers are overwhelmingly supportive or only the commenters' in that forum have real opinions? I'm looking at volume (qty) not volume (loudness). You can look at whatever you want and read how you like, but I'll sleep just fine (and if someone disturbs me, I'll probably do something about it instead of waiting for the universe to fix itself on my behalf.

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  129. Thanks, pineapples!

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  130. This is irrelevant. Nothing in my bringing up their occupations was meant to indicate entitlement. Only that there is more to them than "parents who let their kid's cries bother me."

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  131. That's ridiculous dad. You just don't get it do you? There are places for adults only and places for families. For example now that our kids are grown we would never stay somewhere that advertises "kids stay free"...aside from not wanting to pay for your kids...that is a family place. You should go there with your kids and you won't get a letter under the door

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  132. You are way too worked up over this. As for trusting your telepathy. Sorry, I don't. The numbers don't lie. Find another controversial issue you agree with, then look at the HuffPo comments on it. 36,000 likes on the article itself. You can read that however you like.

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  133. You are dwelling on me. I'm arguing with others because I like a good debate. Personal attacks from you. Not really a good debate though.

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  134. Thanks for your thoughts. Consideration requires awareness of an issue. I think they should have said something. We don't have to agree though.

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  135. I want to speak out in the BABY'S DEFENSE! The one thing you never mentioned was WHY was the baby crying? Who was watching the baby while mom and day skied?:
    "Please, mom and day, the world is new to me. There are a lot of things I do not understand. I know my uncle feels very protective of you (to the point of calling someone "stupid" for letting mom know she could not sleep when I screamed). I just wish someone felt as protective of me as he does of you. I cannot express my worry when I wake up in a very different environment. I don't understand what is going on when I am in a very new place, with strange people. So, I cannot sleep and I scream in fear and frustration.

    Mom and dad: I am very young and weekend in my life is a long time. I like consistency and I LOVE you both. I NEED you both. I love when I am your priority. I know it is hard to give up your baby-free habits, but I am entirely dependent on you. I look forward to skiing with you when I am bigger. I bet it will be a blast. But, right now, I am very sensitive to everything around me. That is nature's way.

    Please don't forget this. Love, your baby."

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  136. Thank you. I couldn't agree more.

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  137. No one seems to be able to simply answer the question. DadOntheRun has, multiple times, said he agrees with the letter-writer's annoyance and anger, but why did they handle it the way they did? I also can't see where he responded defensively. People comment their opinions and experiences and he replies the same way. If his answer makes more sense, that isn't his fault! An anonymous, angry letter? Ok, we get it, you were pissed. Do you write a passive aggressive letter every time something unexpectedly annoying happens? I don't care if people are ever annoyed by my son. I also don't care that you have chosen to not have kids because of how much noise and poop they make. I do care that you expect me and other parents to accommodate you and your expensive trip, but won't reciprocate. No, I won't leave my kid at home EVERY time I need a vacation, especially when they cater to children (crib, kids club, etc). No, I won't go out of my way to ask for special rooms and places to be stuck (in a family/kid friendly hotel/resort) because I have a child.. I don't have any special requirements for my holiday, but you clearly do. I totally agree that after the first sleepless night, it was their responsibility to change rooms, ask for ear plugs, etc. It's sad that so many parents are agreeing with the way this person handled the situation...this wouldn't be appropriate for any disturbance. Handle it like an adult or make the necessary changes to relieve yourself of the situation. And for future reference, one of the consequences of not considering all the details of what was clearly an important, expensive trip, is disappointment and a lack of sleep. My god, stop the presses.

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  138. It sounds like YOU are just as judgmental as the person who wrote the letter in the first place. A baby doesn't belong at a ski resort, despite how 'educated' or 'life saving' the parents are! You know nothing about the people who wrote the letter either so assuming your sister and her husband are 'better people' is incredibly judgmental.

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  139. There are people who hate babies. If you don't fall into that category then stop assuming anyone is referring to you.

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  140. I agree mostly. I don't expect them to be happy about it though. I just don't understand why anyone thinks that handling it by saying nothing to anyone during the time they could help and then leaving the note which helped no one was the way to go. Oh well, turns out the internet has s lot of people with many opinions. Go figure. Thanks for reading!

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  141. Did you just make up that argument? It's not one I made. You don't have children, yet you judge them on their parenting based on the fact the baby started teething? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and dismiss that. Thanks for reading and contributing the conversation.

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  142. Kids stay free at this hotel and they have a kids' club and provided the crib. Am I still wrong? Do I still not get it?

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  143. I mentioned that I knew nothing about them in the letter. I also thought it was pretty clear that the irony I was displaying was on purpose. That's why I said at the end, they could be great people, or they could be assholes.

    I also didn't say my sister and her husband were better than anyone. I just said they aren't selfish destroyers of society.

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  144. Someone read the whole piece and understood what I was saying. Incredible. Thank you for commenting.

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  145. Oh I get it! You're not a jackass...you're IRONIC.

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  146. Thank you for telling us what the baby was thinking. Mom and Dad didn't go there to ski and the baby was with one of them at all times, enjoying her time as usual. She was crying because she was teething. 2 out of 7 nights she had irregular sleep. So 5 nights were great and 23.5 hours of the other 2 nights were great. I'm glad you read and contributed to the conversation, but your words on behalf of a baby you don't know are off-base.

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  147. Indeed. Glad you see now.

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  148. I understand that your sister and her husband are decent people. I also have very young children. That being said, I can imagine how very upset those people were who had their sleep interrupted on vacation. Being a parent, I'd probably be a little more sympathetic to parents with a crying baby but I'd still be upset to be repeatedly woken up. Then again, I usually take earplugs with my when I sleep in a hotel b/c you never know what kind of noisy neighbors, heating units or other noises you might encounter. I can honestly see both sides of this. Your sister and her family wanted to get away and even good babies have bad nights. The letter was rude, but if I had a weekend away from my kids & was kept awake by a screaming infant I would be really upset. I do wonder, what if the couple had heard some up all night f%#&ing? Would they have written them a letter? lol

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  149. I often find myself completely disturbed by the nasty and judgmental posts in the comments sections of articles and blogs. However, this post by Dad On The RuN is genuinely the first time that I considered THE ACTUAL BLOG to be nasty and judgmental. In my opinion the blogger comes across as a bit smug and elitist. It makes me wonder if those traits run in the family. I hope not. I hope Dad on the Run is just an over-protective brother.

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  150. I'm judging them on their parenting based on the fact that they knew their baby was teething before they decided to subject everyone else on the planet to its incessant wailing. Once again, you weren't there, so you're taking their word that "the crying volume and frequency was not so grievous that they assumed they were laying waste to everyone's peaceful slumbers". That may be true in the estimation of parents who'd been dealing with a teething baby for several days. But what of the rest of us? Did they reach out to their neighbors to find out if their screaming, teething baby was causing a disturbance, or did they just assume that since they could handle it (or were used to it), the rest of the world could handle it (or get used to it)? In my opinion, that's incredibly inconsiderate.

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  151. Yes, you're still wrong, and no you clearly do not get it. The kids' club and the crib do not ameliorate you of your responsibility to be considerate when travelling with a SCREAMING, TEETHING baby.

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  152. Maybe a little personal experience would change your outlook..on life! My son is a 1year old who is smack dab in the middle of teething. One day he will have no signs of the white knives cutting holes in his gums, another day he may fuss a little when it comes time for him to eat because chewing hurts, other times as we lay him down in his crib he screams out in pain and shoves any toy he can in his mouth to find a way to alleviate it. All the cuddling in the world doesn't help the pain sometimes. With that being said, do you have some type of super power that the world is unaware of? When you schedule a vacation or conference trip, are you able to pre-determine your health as well? Or is there a chance you might become irritable, congested, or heaven sakes...get food poisoning?? Because I refuse to room next to you and hear the sounds of you curling around the toilet all night, at a hotel that is obviously for those only with an iron stomach! How selfish of you to venture out into the world among other people with that type of weakness!!! .....of course you

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  153. Perhaps mom and dad should've redeemed their vacation insurance (they did buy vacation insurance, I hope, them being important brain surgeons and all) and gone skiing at a time when it would've been more pleasant for all involved.

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  154. It doesn't matter how many people's brains the dad helps, and all the
    other bs. You say the parents needed to be told that their screaming
    child was bothering others? Well, if true -- your sister needs to get a
    major clue. Look -- there goes the bus for Clue Street -- tell your
    sister to run and catch it. The inconsideration of
    your sister drove someone to write an angry letter. Don't blame the
    victim -- blame your sister.

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  155. Oh. We moderate?
    Weak.

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  156. Maybe a little personal experience would change your outlook..on life! My son is a 1year old who is smack dab in the middle of teething. One day he will have no signs of the white knives cutting holes in his gums, another day he may fuss a little when it comes time for him to eat because chewing hurts, other times as we lay him down in his crib he screams out in pain and shoves any toy he can in his mouth to find a way to alleviate it. All the cuddling in the world doesn't help the pain sometimes. With that being said...do you have some type of super power that the world is unaware of? When you schedule a vacation or conference trip, are you able to pre-determine your health as well? Or is there a chance you might become irritable, congested, or heaven sakes...get food poisoning?? Because I refuse to room next to you and hear the sounds of you curling around the toilet all night, at a hotel that is obviously for those only with an iron stomach! How selfish of you to venture out into the world among other people with that type of weakness!!! .....of course not!

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  157. The comments here are not what I expected. I have two small children 1 and 3. They both sleep through the night but every now and then have their nights when they don't. One can not plan for when that bad night will be. The poor parents were probably aware of the fact their child was being loud...they were in the room! Families are allowed to go on vacations like eveeyone else. This wasn't an adults only resort. As for the comments about leaving their child with a family member/grandparent, not everyone has someone that they can leave their children with. Easy for people to make judgements on these parents.

    Perhaps the people that left the note should complain to the resort about having thin walls. Its not the parents fault.

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  158. Actually, having more than two kids is about the most selfish thing you can do for society, considering overpopulation and the environmental costs of raising children who then become adults. So yeah, they sorta are the definition of selfish destroyers of society.

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  159. I was more annoyed by the people commenting wayyyyy off topic, than by the original letter! Procreating is tough business, and it does unfortunately affect everyone, regardless of if they asked for it or not! It is up to each individual to do their own problem solving and make their own changes, when and where they are needed. Saved up your money and spent a year planning your trip? Also happen to dislike crying babies (and let's be honest, a crying baby is not the same as a barking dog or loud drunks, on so many levels) more than the average joe? Considering there are over four million babies born EACH year in the US, chances are, at any given moment, you're going to run into a crying baby somewhere. How you handle that will say a lot.

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  160. Actually, I have had my sleep time affected because of an "adult party" going on in the room next to mine, I was only staying one night so I did not try to seek a different room. With a two night stay, the possibility of getting another room would cross my mind, griping out the parent isn't going to change the situation, and most likely is going to make a difficult situation worse.


    That said, I have also traveled with my kids, and a handy dandy tip to pass along here, I purchased small brightly colored toys and tucked them into my bag just for such events, and my kids (although pretty young, not four months young mind you), did stop crying when they saw the new toy, all their previous cares forgotten. New toy they had never seen before can work some magic.


    Of course nothing works everytime, but that one did for me it did at any rate.

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  161. This could swing both ways but society would probably be on the side of the victims. With our baby, we constantly educated ourselves about the stages in the first year. We had a chance to travel during the possible teething stages. Because of this chance, we automatically said during this time period, we will expect not to travel with her if it dealt with staying overnight in a hotel. We also agreed that if our baby appeared to not be ready for a restaurant, we will not take the baby. We've been on the other end and do not want to be those people because well, we're being considerate of others. I believe parents should sacrifice your personal well being for a few years because that is what it will take to raise a child. You don't have to, but I think you'll get better results that way. Dad On the run, you seem to be intelligent, but take a step back and look at the situation overall. With this experience, maybe their family can learn for next time, if there is another baby, "maybe we don't take the baby anywhere during xx months because so so had that teething problem when so so was a baby and that jerk slipped is a letter in our hotel room." If this happened to my sister and I sided with her, I would not encourage her to keep doing what you're doing and do it again. Your response to the oringinal was probably more mean than the original letter. I imagine if the letters were exchanged as actual words, you probably would have made the other person cry. We get where they're coming from, we get where you're coming from. Educate yourself as best you can about your baby and you will end up making better decisions. This was a learning experience and what's done is done, learn from it. People take an attack like this as personal and cannot see an outside view. After reading most of the comments, it appears most people would side with the note writer. This will be my only response as I usually never comment. God bless.

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  162. Marian, Madame LibertarianMarch 4, 2014 at 12:20 PM

    The author of the note is in the wrong here. The resort clearly was "family"-friendly, not an adults-only resort. If peaceful sleep is a requirement, book at a hotel where you know there will be no noisy children. Period.

    How much different would this story have been if the offended party had practiced some sympathy for these parents and knocked on the door offering to give them a break while she/he rocked the baby, or, instead of leaving this nasty note had left a couple of vouchers for paid babysitting so the couple could have alone time, or free breakfast or spa time. There are so many ways she could have turned this into a positive and walked away knowing she did the right thing.

    That would have been a nice post to see on your blog.

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  163. You are right. I don't know this particular baby, just babies in particular. Your only mention of the baby (who should have been the main concern of everyone, including you) was that the baby does not scearm at home. I could be right, I could be wrong. You also assumed a lot from the note left as well. There are two sides to every story. I also know your response was way out of line as well. Rather than calling the person who left the note, "stupid" and write a self-righteous post. Trust me, I GET you wanting to defend your sister. It is wonderful when siblings are so protective of each other. I can tell you I could tease my brother mercilessly, but God help anyone else who did the same.

    I am sure there were better ways to reply to this frustrating for ALL situation than to be so angry and personally attack the person who left the note. The best part of this post is it gets people talking about a really tough situation.

    It would have been more insightful of you to offer solutions rather than name-call. Sadly this is a frustrating and tough situation for all. This is not black and white. It is a common issue for both families and people who are not expecting to have to have their peace interrupted.

    I think you would have been much more helpful in this post to look at how anyone could have helped, solved the situation (the hotel could have moved people), etc. Your sister made a choice to go on vacation with an infant. NOT an easy thing for anyone to pull off.

    How wonderful this COULD have been to make suggestions on how to travel with a baby: to make the baby more comfortable, to make the parents more relaxed AND to consider how your choices impact others.

    There are parents who have great techniques for the challenges of traveling with a baby. I am sure you sister and her husband were just as miserable as the neighbors. NO ON WINS!

    You have people's attention, how great if you did something POSITIVE with it.

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  164. All in all, I've had more issues with loud adults in hotels.


    It would be nice to see some hotels that go to the trouble of soundproofing rooms.

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  165. I'm just a guy who wrote a rant after seeing a rant. Sure, I'm over-protective. The whole thing is unproductive and had I known it would go viral I would have spent more time and been more level in my response. Then again, that would have kept it from going viral. The discussion is being had all over, it's not about my words, it's about people talking with other people. If I have to be the target of the ire of some, that's OK. They'll be on to the next internet outrage by lunch and I'll still just be a guy taking care of his kids and occasionally writing about it.

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  166. "My brother-in-law helps more people before you get out of bed and have your morning coffee than you have likely helped in your entire life...He saves lives. This week he is in Colorado for a conference where he can learn to better treat you...I don't blame him for wanting to take his family with him to a convention rather than missing out on another week full of memories so that he can be the best surgeon. It's a great job, a rewarding job, but not one without sacrifices."

    "As for my sister, she is a kind and considerate parent, a dependable friend and an amazing wife. She is a first-time mother with a law degree who decided that spending time with and raising her daughter are the top priorities in her life..."

    Dear Dad on the Run: Could you be anymore of a self-righteous, GIANT DOUCHE BAG than you already appear to be?

    PS: I won't be surprised when you come forth a few days from now and admit this letter is one giant hoax.

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  167. Should they have knocked on doors or just called the neighbors to see if the crying was disturbing them?

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  168. I just read through these comments and people need to grow up. I don't have children and I'm overly fond of most of them, but I don't get pissy about the fact that they exist.
    Sometimes I get angry at what seems like a poor parental choices-- like, if its midnight and you're in Walmart with a screaming infant buying a 12 pack of Budwiser; or you took your small child with you to opening night of a horror movie; or if we're at a restaurant and your child is at my table and you haven't noticed despite my efforts to get your attention-- then I think you're an idiot.
    But, if you're just on a little family trip and your baby's crying, oh well, I can wear ear plugs. If it'd been important to me I would have spent a little more time (and probably money) to stay at a place that didn't advertise as "family friendly." I'd probably still want my ear plugs though.

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  169. Yeah..you really don't get it. Your sister's entitlement destroyed other people's vacation. Maybe the only one they get a year and yet, you feel her convenience trumps everyone's just because she was unwilling to get up and go down to the lobby or some equally public area so as not to awaken the rest of the hotel. I think you missed the one that is really selfish here. Cribs are for sleeping, not for screaming in half the night. Thy probably provide clock radios too, does that mean it should be blasting until 4am?

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  170. Thanks for commenting. The overwhelming response has been positive. That's why the note is up everywhere. I don't think the people should have been happy about the disturbance, I just think they should have told someone they were unhappy.

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  171. Hmmm, I'd have to ask my mom if I was teething on any of those exact specific days, but that's entirely missing the point. Was I at an age where I still was teething? Absolutely. Is it possible I may have woken up in the night a few times during one of those trips? Of course. But I still went out the next day and enjoyed time with my family. I also went out the next day and skied (since apperently that's a mandatory prerequisite for anyone to be "allowed" to stay on the premises of a ski resort). I also went sledding, built snowmen, dug forts to have snowball fights, and dozens of other activities one can enjoy in the snow. I happen to not ski anymore, does that mean I am not allowed to vacation at a ski resort simply because I would choose not to ski? Is the magical land of snowy adventure reserved only for skiers? Or is it just children who aren't allowed to enjoy the snow if they aren't clipped into some skis? Funny, no one seemed to be aware of that rule when I took my one year old tubing down a mountain. "Uh, excuse me ma'am, you're child needs to stop giggling with glee immediately. She clearly is not old enough to be having fun in the snow. It's offending strangers on the internet."

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  172. Just because a venue doesn't BAN children doesn't automatically make it a "family resort." Ski lodges are for skiers or, apparently, conventioneers. If the child was neither attending the convention nor skiing, it didn't need to be there. Especially if the parents knew it was teething and decided to let all of their fellow hotel and restaurant patrons take their chances on whether the baby would be screaming at any given time. Rude, entitled and inconsiderate. And this blogger has made a jackass out of himself on a variety of websites by indignantly defending the entitled parent rudeness. As usual.

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  173. My positive things are up every day. This was one post. Enjoy the rest of the blog at your leisure. I do appreciate your point of view and your intention. I can tell you that once "publish" is hit, there is no recalling it and there is no redirecting the conversation where I want it to go. Such is the nature of the internet. I'm already working on my next thing, and as usual, it's not an angry rant. Angry rants get the attention though, don't they?

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  174. No one screamed half the night. As for the clock radio, if your neighbor went out and left one set, would you call the front desk or write him a letter and save it for two days?

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  175. You're the epitome of how the Internet allows people to make public fools of themselves by posting
    this narcissistic drivel.



    Your BIL's job is irrelevant. He chose
    it, and his lifestyle as a parent, and it's up to him to manage the
    work-life balance without infringing on others. As to kids being a
    part of life and all of that nonsense -- they are not traditionally part
    of ski-resort life and would be much safer, happier and healthier kept
    at home. Decent people who decide to embark on parenthood also realize
    that their recreation and entertainment choices will be curtailed for a
    few years, out of courtesy to the paying customers at restaurants,
    theaters, resorts and vacation venues. At some point the kid will be old enough to behave or to leave with grandparents/sitters and you'll be able to resume your preferred recreation. Meanwhile, stay home and enjoy all those precious, priceless moments that make parenthood so grand.



    Selfish, entitled and
    oblivious types, like your family members, think they can have and do
    whatever they want at the expense of others. There are reasons that
    parents of today have such an abysmal image in the eyes of many of their
    long-suffering fellow citizens and your letter unwittingly sums up a
    lot of them.



    Here's a newsflash: There are 7 billion people on
    this planet and we're heading to 10 billion in our lifetime. By some
    scientific estimates, as many as 20 billion people have been born in the
    course of human history. Producing your little self-replicant is a
    commonplace, ordinary act that anyone with a single-digit IQ can do;
    it's not a feat of accomplishment nor, on an overpopulated planet, it is
    some sort of noble sacrifice on behalf of society. It's your
    selfish choice to indulge in your preferred lifestyle. Have at it, but
    stop claiming the right to inflict your family's noise, smells, mess and
    distracting behavior on others.

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  176. They have one kid.

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  177. Wow...what a return letter!!! I think both letters are ridiculous. I think the the first person writing the letter could have handled it better (called the front desk about the noise, asked to be moved,etc.)....I've had to do that before, and most of the time the problem was solved. There is the realistic side of me as well that knows when you are staying any where (no matter what class of lodging), where there are many people...you are going to have situations that occur that are less than perfect....and yes, even irritating. As for the responding letter (or novel), I think this guy just showed his ignorance and was completely insensitive to the other persons issue. Who cares about what each of your family's status in the World is or what each of you and your family members are contributing to the rest of us....the lady just wanted a good night sleep....even if she could have handled it differently....have some respect for other peoples needs!

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  178. Did you or your cousin try to stop the kids' rambunctious behavior? I think it's rude to allow kids to be rambunctious and not try to stop them. Just because kids are welcome to visit a restaurant or other business does not mean they can misbehave and bother people.

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  179. I have raised my kids... When I go out to dinner I do not want to hear your child whine and cry as I eat... I ask to be moved away as far as possible. Now on a ski trip.. Really did you put the little tike in ski's? Then leave them home.. People who have raised their kids shouldn't have to pay good money to hear yours.. Common sense people PS they don't belong in movie theaters either! Just saying I won't leave a note I will tell you to refund my money since you feel it important for your child to ruin someones elses (MINE) night out or what ever the case may be... You don't see me bringing my beer in to your playground So then keep kids out of grown folks business

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  180. Your ridiculously self-absorbed, myopic screed makes it abundantly clear that if anyone is an asshole here, sir, it's YOU. Your darling niece may be a bundle of joy, and your sister and bro-in-law the incarnations of Mother Teresa and Albert Schweitzer respectively, but they do not have the right to ruin someone else's vacation because of a screaming kid who should not have been dragged to a ski resort. The world does not revolve around your family.

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  181. yourenotthatsmartMarch 4, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    You're 19? So you seem to have a REAL grasp on the human dollar obviously, right? Not really. Let me put it quite bluntly to you, in 19 year old terms since you're most likely holding a mcdonalds job. Imagine you just dropped $250 on a room, almost an entire weeks worth of work for you, and that entire night was ruined by someone who decided to bring their monsters into the mix. You should NOT have to go to the front desk, quite frankly, you shouldn't have to even buy earplugs either are you fucking serious?

    Because of course, it makes sense and people should GLADLY and WILLINGLY have to wear earplugs in a resort because someone can't control their demonic spawn. Such logic.

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  182. i just wanted to leave you a little love and support, DadOnTheRun. It seems as if all you were trying to do is stick up for your sister and point out that all families deserve respect. I think most people would understand a person's displeasure at being woken up by a screaming baby, but the way the person handled it was just really unkind and unhelpful. Families are entitled to bring their babies to hotels and resorts, especially when those resorts make specific accommodations for babies and children. Don't let the negative comments get you down, they say much more about the people writing them then they do about you. Many people feel entitled to a world free from anything which causes them discomfort and displeasure. It's much easier to sham you and your sister then try and to have a little patience and do some self reflection on why a crying child would cause a person to become so unhinged.

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  183. What a pompous, sanctimonius blowhard! I think its wonderful your sister and her husband are so in love with their child they feel the need to share her with the rest of the world. You don't get it, and people like you never will. You see a note slipped descreetly under a door as a rude gesture, but a screaming infant that disturbs everyone's sleep can only be viewed as a blessing. I think it's wonderful that your sister is a lawer and your brother-in-law is a brain surgeon. This means that they are obviously more important than the other people in the hotel. I was raised on the principle of being courteous to others, but I guess that's an outmoded anachronism these days. Your sister and brother-in-law are probably the kind of people who yak on their cell phone in the grocery store line while the cashier is trying to ask them if they have any coupons. Because in the end, it's all about them isn't it? Personally, I think the letter writer excercised great restraint by slipping a note underneith your sister's door instead of knocking on it and punching your brother-in-law right in the face.

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  184. The addition in the story of the offended family's credentials as brain surgeon and lawyer is an elevation of their rights as people? My surgical nurse tells stories all the time about the self-absorbed 'these hands of god' attitude she has to endure from surgeons. They are nasty SOBs. And having passed the state board as lawyer does not elevate one to sainthood. Your bloated expansion of their goodness and obvious worth as human beings trumps the schmuck in the adjacent room and his desire for a peaceful night's sleep. The hotel offers cribs for free so that means it's OK to have a screaming kid in the room. That's some logic.

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  185. If this happened to you, and it wasn't your sister you would probably understand. The persons hould have knocked on the door to complain or phoned the front desk, but the bottom line is, crib or not, it isn't an open invitation to bring your screaming newborn. Regardless of how it behaves in its own home, of COURSE it is going to keep guests up half the night. And any brilliant brain surgeon would know this. I am so sick of parents getting off on a high horse and thinking they now rule the world because they have children. I am sure your sister and brother in law are amazing people, but it doesn't mean they didn't mess this one up.

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  186. Hurrah for Big Bro'. Here, here. I agree with you whole heartedly. Those who don't probably never had children or are so selfish, they can't see the forest for the trees.
    If they don't like children, they should find a solitary island to go live on.
    The parents did nothing wrong. I hope they were eventually able to enjoy the time together.
    A note to the person who left the note. "Coward, learn to say these things to someone's face, you might learn something."

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  187. The writer of the letter was totally correct. People with screaming babies should NOT inflict them on other people. By the way, the HuffPo put this letter on their website and there are thousands of comments, 99% of which are telling parents of the baby how WRONG they were to bring a screaming baby to a resort where it had no business being and telling you that you are way out of line with this reply which you are. I'm sure that they also bring their screaming kids into nice restaurants to inflict the misery on other people paying good money to eat in peace. As for them being wonderful people, Rah. I've never met a lawyer who wasn't an arrogant jerk or a doctor who didn't think he was all that and a bag of chips too. Leave the baby with grandma so people can sleep or STAY HOME. I'm astonished that the letter is ALL this woman did, I'd have raised holy hell with the hotel until they moved them and refunded the cost of my room for that night and I'd probably have been hard pressed not to beat on the wall with a shoe to show them what it was like when people have NO CONSIDERATION for others as your relative are obviously guilty of. These people are totally inconsiderate of other people and I don't care if they are professionals. An MD/JD doesn't excuse one from being considerate of others, and while it's sweet you came to their defense, you are all wrong.

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  188. Well Dad on the run, I for one thank you time and time again for that letter! It's things like this that make mothers like your sister and I feel powerful and supported. Keep doing it!

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  189. Uh--no, it isn't. Only here is it positive, on HuffPo you and your relatives are being excoriated.

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  190. How are you so sure that they didn't complain and get a new room for Monday?

    If they had knocked on the door and spoke to your sister, do you think they would have been less annoyed?

    The response to your blogpost is NOT overwhelmingly positive. Maybe you and your sis should think about why that is the case.

    I don't understand why a baby is at a ski resort (I will take my toddlers when they can ski). But, I do understand that parents find themselves in tough situations and need the benefit of the doubt.

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  191. lost_perspicacityMarch 4, 2014 at 2:10 PM

    Wow, what pieces of shit you and your sister are.

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  192. you do realize people "like" it to share it on facebook right?

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  193. I honestly get where youre coming from completely my 13month old daughter sleeps perfectly just about every night when she wakes she barely cries and if she does she instantly stops as im putting her back to sleep. The father saw this as an opportunity to spend time with his daughter whom he sees so little due to his occupation which in the long run makes for a better life for his daughter, like you said if their daughter generally sleeps well and doesnt cry at night there was no way to know she was going to be teething and crying all night. I think the father sacrafices enough that he thought this trip would be good and it wouldnt have ended that way. And being a stay at home mother i know what its like to want to get out when i can, my daughter was exclusively breast fed (no bottles) until 6 months and once she had begun eating food she still had no bottles until about 2 months ago making it completely difficult for anyone to watch her for more than a few hours. If those people had a problem all night they too should have been a littl more considerate and politely knocked on your door in hopes to have the parents calm their daughter, instead they left this nasty letter with no reguards of anyone. People sometimes just thinking they know everything and these people seem to think you all were just a bunch of selfless assholes out to ruin their vacation...

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