Sunday, April 7, 2013

Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet

Parenting Truth #111: When your child is sleeping your clumsiness increases exponentially.

It's some sort of weird natural phenomena that only occurs when sleeping babies/toddlers are involved; the closer you get to a relaxing moment the worse it gets. After you put the child down for a nap, you'll tip toe around the house like a ninja cat with marshmallow socks and you might take care of a few dishes, water the plants, or hide from your other child(ren) with no problem. However, the second you get a drink and head toward the couch for a breather you'll drop that beverage on the floor right outside the napper's door or you'll step on a lego and scream like a banshee. If you make it to the couch and put your feet up, you'll knock something over, something like a grandfather clock, a set of golf clubs or maybe a stack of bagpipes. If you turn on the TV, it will be at maximum volume. If you think you have covered all the bases with a mini-fridge next to the couch, a lego Roomba, earphones for the TV and nerf padding on all the floors, walls and furnishings then you'll walk by the sleeping tyrant's lair with confidence... that is the moment your phone will ring. Not the regular ring either, it'll be your old high school buddy who's got the Metallica- Master of Puppets ringtone.

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