Monday, May 13, 2013

Let your Middle Finger do the Walking.

Rant of the day: Why the hell do they still make phone books and why do I need one delivered to my doorstep every 3 weeks? We're supposed to be saving the environment, preventing deforestation and cutting back on fossil fuel use but this whole industry cuts down untold numbers of trees, spews pollutants to make them then delivers the heavy things all over the country and all over the neighborhood just so 99% of the people can walk it to their garbage (or recycling at least, if we're lucky). Stop it! I don't even have a landline! Like I'm going to put my phone down and go look for the phonebook when I could just look it up right there, or on the computer or call information in the rare instance I'm without internet service (and are you going to have your phonebook with you if you have no internet service?). Seriously. What do the Ad people tell their advertisers that makes them believe this is an important aspect of their marketing plan? I mean, if you aren't in the REAL Yellow Pages you don't exist!? Well, except you do on Google... ever heard of it? Shove your 50 pound book where the sun don't shine, I've got all the kindling I need for this year! Better yet, come to my house and let me clock you in the head with it until you take me off whatever "we hate the environment and love pointless products list" you have me on! Ask people if they want it, if they do give it to them. If not... oh well if not, you wouldn't be able to make that ad money off the schmucks who think no one can find out they install gutters if they're not in the yellow pages. End rant. I can probably go to Pinterest and find out how great the pages are for paper mache or something... as if. I only make art with Cheetos (Cheetos are nutritionally sound and environmentally friendly right?) <facepalm>

Update: On Facebook, a reader pointed out there is a website for opting out of the phone book delivery, which I really liked the sound of. I looked into it and it was created by the Yellow Pages Association (where they presumably hold regular meetings on how to best market to you and I and how to provide advertisers with valuable lists of "targets"). I'm not sure, the service is what it is cracked up to be, so be careful. It looks like it may work for people only getting AT&T books, however, their is a cost. The cost is giving your detailed information to the marketing A-holes who already send unsolicited 10 lb books to your doorstep. If you don't have a landline with them, they don't know you, they just know your address. Do you really want to give those people your name to go with the address and an email to contact you from now on? All they need to know if they were out to "protect the environment" is there an address at ______ where we don't want your books on our doorstep anymore. Anything else is just marketing research buried in anti-marketing. Clever devils. The environmental aspect makes me want to register, but the distrust of these marketers makes me not want to register with them. I'm just saying, consumers beware... if there is no product, you are the product. If these folks wanted to just put books where they are wanted, they would allow people to "Opt In" instead of collecting our information and making us "opt out." 

Before going to the opt out site, you should read THIS.

I went and am now opted out from my address under a false name, with the email address I give out to all a-hole marketers and other people who don't really need my email address. The phone number I was required to provide is for a weather/time service. You do have to have an email address you have access to in order to confirm your registration. I set up one long ago with a pseudonym and incorrect info that I only check for such occasions. I'd recommend that course for anyone who doesn't like giving out their real email for everything you sign up for so they can send you advertisements. We'll see if it works, or if I start getting new snail mail junk (though it will be hard to tell within the current barrage). 


  1. Tonight while not going to sleep, my child asked over and over and over for some book I couldn't identify. "It's the one that opens and closes," he told me. For some reason I actually looked for this "book" when I happened upon the yellow pages. Then I thought of this post. Then I thought, I'll show him. I'll give him *this*.

    (And yes I actually returned to make this comment; that's the kind of fan I am.)

  2. I'm the kind of guy who usually doesn't respond to blog comments for days, but I felt compelled to after your huge effort, lol. Everyone knows kids love to read the Yellow Pages anyway so you made the right move.

    Thanks for reading and commenting!