Thursday, January 9, 2014

What If You Worked With A Bunch Of Toddlers?

What would it be like to work in a place where your peers were toddlers? A guy would come into the office with nothing but tighty whities on and immediately start screaming and pointing at the snack machine. Maybe a woman sits down in a meeting with her breakfast then throws her yogurt parfait and caramel macchiato against the wall and laughs about it. During a conference call a team member walks into your cubicle and starts repeatedly pressing a button on a toy that makes it play "Peter Cottontail" at incredible volume. I can see it now, the boss gives your peer an assignment and he replies by throwing himself on the floor, kicking and screaming and saying "No! No! No! No!" You walk in the breakroom and see two employees playing tug of war with a stapler and screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. You pick up the phone to make an important business call and two people walk up and start screeching and grabbing for your phone. Once you get them to stop that they start yelling about being hungry.

Can't you just imagine asking your associate to prepare a TPS report for you?


"Because upper management says we need them on everything."

"Well... I was eating this cracker first."

"That's fine, just do it when you are done."

"I have to go to the bathroom when I'm done."

"Understood, you can handle it after that."

"Why don't they have little guys that come out at night and do the TPS reports for us?"

"I don't know..."

"Wouldn't that be funny?!"

"Err... I guess it would be. So, can you handle it for me this time?"

"Handle what?"

"The TPS report."

"Where is its handle?"


After a day like that, you also would get no paycheck and your teammates come home with you and wake you up at random times of the night to ask you to wipe their butts. What if your office were your home and your children were always there? Have you hugged an at-home parent today? Please do.

On second thought, if your co-workers were this cute you'd be surprised what you could put up with.


  1. Cuda Marc Bradley MitchellJanuary 9, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    Love it...I could call myself a cowboy but I don't think herding cats qualifies as part of the profession

  2. Hmm... a lasso could come in handy though.